Coventry Man Finally Removes Ashes from Forehead at Easter Vigil

A Coventry man, who wore his ashes throughout Lent has expressed his relief in removing them during the Easter Vigil. His wife, family and work colleagues are delighted. ‘He hasn’t had a full shower for seven weeks. Have you any idea what that does to a family?’ Remarked his devoted wife.

‘I feel lighter than air’ said the de-ashed parishioner. ‘The Priest gave me a right good ashing and then told us we shouldn’t remove them, so, well, I didn’t.’ Said Mr Cholmondley who suffered from a serious eye condition when some ash broke off and embedded itself in his retina.

The parishioner, has been described by Pope Francis as ‘taking it a bit far.’ The pontiff added ‘There’s Catholic and then there’s, well, a bit too Catholic if you know what I mean.

‘I’m sick of that sort of stuff.’ Said the outspoken pontiff. ‘I can’t tell you how many priests have confessed to me that they wear their birettas in the bath. No, literally, I can’t tell you. Even I’m not allowed to break that seal.’

Mr Cholmondley’s family groaned when the parish Priest made a passing comment about the need to smile during Eastertide. ‘It’s beginning to hurt.’ said Mr Cholmondley, ‘When can I stop?’