Devout newlyweds from Northampton have expressed their intention to let their love shine further than just to each other. 'It sounds nice.' Said an anonymous source. 'But I've never known a couple as passive aggressive as them. Frankly they can keep that to themselves.'
An anonymous Cardinal has alleged that the Pope uses high ranking Church officials during games of life-size chess against other religious leaders.
An anonymous source has revealed that Pope Francis is 'sick to death of being the only one who takes care of the recycling at the Vatican.'
In a self-defiant move, the ultra-conservative wing (Control-Right) of the Catholic Church has banned everyone from speaking at any Catholic events anywhere. This ban includes themselves.
A South London man who accidentally touched his mouth with Holy water on the way into church was rushed to hospital before Mass had finished.
Local catholic, David Briton, put his self-consciousness down to nerves during his first visit to his local charismatic prayer group. Only later did he discover that in reality everyone was actually watching him intently.
Newbridge parishioner, Ethyl Porter, perished under a deluge of holy trinkets she had been keeping in her wardrobe. An amnesty now exists for such items.
A new descant for the popular traditional British hymn, Jerusalem, has been unveiled. 'This is like Banksy does church music.'