In a self-defiant move, the ultra-conservative wing (Control-Right) of the Catholic Church has banned everyone from speaking at any Catholic events anywhere. This ban includes themselves.
Local catholic, David Briton, put his self-consciousness down to nerves during his first visit to his local charismatic prayer group. Only later did he discover that in reality everyone was actually watching him intently.
A new descant for the popular traditional British hymn, Jerusalem, has been unveiled. 'This is like Banksy does church music.'
New research by the conservative think tank, The Institute of Dogma and Fidelity, also known as ‘Control-Right’, has determined that God does indeed dwell in an ivory tower.
In a surprise addition to the received wisdom of the church, Cardinal Friedrichstein of the Vatican’s Eschatology Commission, has declared that salvation may rest on our knowledge of Latin.