Vatican officials have confirmed that a host of new practices are to be incorporated into the Holy Mass.
An anonymous Cardinal has alleged that the Pope uses high ranking Church officials during games of life-size chess against other religious leaders.
An anonymous source has revealed that Pope Francis is 'sick to death of being the only one who takes care of the recycling at the Vatican.'
Pope Francis has expressed great disappointment that Christmas fell on Monday this year, describing it as ’Rubbish!' ’It means I have to go to Mass twice in two days!'
New research by the conservative think tank, The Institute of Dogma and Fidelity, also known as ‘Control-Right’, has determined that God does indeed dwell in an ivory tower.