Exclusive: Top Ten Hottest Live-Streaming Priests.

The Church Font has discovered that there is a list of the countries hottest priests circulating around underground Catholic networks. The so-called ‘Holy Hot-list’, revealed for the first time here is proving popular among single Catholics, bored house-wives, and those suffering from forbidden-love disorder and Stockholm Syndrome.

The Holy Hot List, more secret than the Fatima prophecies

Priests have been surprised to find themselves on it and more have been shocked to realise they’re not.

The list also comes with descriptions to aid the amorous on-lookers navigate the choices. While some of these refer to liturgical style and spiritual leanings, most focus on the physical.

The list is based on ongoing feedback and polling but at the time of going to print these were the top ten:

PositionPriest and ParishComments
10Fr Jamie Finch, North LondonHipster priest. Bald but makes up for it on chin. Short sleeve alb.
9Fr Michael Askance, Norwich‘Just call me Mike’. Voice like Carlsberg – reaches places. Kind face. Can use a tambourine like a pro.
8Fr Ignacio Felicidades, South LondonLatin American, moves across the sanctuary like it’s a dance floor. Used to be professional footballer. ‘You could be my hero, baby.’
7Fr Willie Johnson, CardiffAka ‘Willie-what-a-waste-Johnson’, has that dangerous edge. Apparently a great conversion story.
6Fr Paulinus McGale, OxfordPublic school boy, went to seminary in Rome. Got everything, looks, body, traditions. Does own ironing, mostly lace.
5Fr Gerard Maxwell, LeedsFr George Clooney.
4Fr Rob McGuyver, LeicesterThe thinking woman’s priest, intelligent, energetic, reads Guardian. Looks like Magnum.
3Fr Danny Chadmeiser, HooeBrad Pitt in an alb, a perfectly fitted one.
2Fr Phil Rogers. BirminghamBuilt like Thor, face of an angel, winks at webcam. Even seven layers of clothing don’t hide those muscles.
1Fr Nigel Finnick, PortsmouthLooks like him off of Fleabag

To nominate a priest contact The Church Font on Facebook or Twitter.

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