Merged Parish Names Getting Ridiculous, says Bishop

There are many rooms - just as well!
Just a small selection of the ten thousand or more saints available

An exasperated Bishop Nigel Winterbottom has spoken of his frustration at the length of parish names. While dedicating the merger of three Churches into one parish, each of whom wanted to retain their Patron Saint, he lost his patience. ’Really?’ He exclaimed from the Lectern. ’You seriously want to be called ’Saints Lawrence, Agnes, Peter, Paul, Holy Angels and All Saints?’

He later commented ’I immediately regretted saying it, I got a right evil look from the priest, but really?! When I was young a parish had one patron Saint or maybe two at the most. Now it’s a litany.’

The National Office for Ecclesial Statistics said in a statement that they had ’Seen a rise in this sort of thing. Some parishes rename the entire parish but many include all the names. Our favourite merged-parish names are ’Saints Peter, Paul and Mary’ and ’St Sexburger and the Forty Virgins’.

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