South London Parish Rumoured to be Trapped in Easter Vigil

It is believed at least four young people are trapped inside the service
It is believed at least four young people are trapped inside the service

A traditional South London Parish, known for its long services, is rumoured to still be celebrating the Easter Vigil. According to the relatives of parishioners, they didn’t come home on Holy Saturday night and haven’t been home since.

‘I got worried when I woke up on Sunday I noticed my cup of tea wasn’t there.’ Said a worried husband of one parishioner. ‘After a few minutes I noticed my wife wasn’t there either. She wasn’t anywhere in the house and everything was where I left it the night before – clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink etc. She just hadn’t been home. It’s Monday morning and she still hasn’t come home!’

The only reports we’ve had from the Church are from when the Easter morning service took place concurrently in the church which lead to confusion for both services.

‘I went to church on Easter morning and the Vigil was still happening.’ Said one confused parishioner. ‘They’d just reached the second reading of the first block of readings at that point. We overtook them pretty quickly. We did the offertory while they were singing the psalm after the second reading and we were all done as they were starting on the third.’

Several calls have been made to local police who have set up a hotline to deal with enquiries. A teenager who has been caught up in the disaster is sending updates via the hashtag #VigilTrapped, a selection of which concludes this report.

WTHeck? Mum dragged me to church because ‘it’s easter tomorrow’. Not any more, it’s easter today! #VigilTrapped

Fell asleep and woke up two hours later to find they were still singing the same song about water. It’s not even a good one. #VigilTrapped

People are sneaking drinks of water from the baptismal font. #Manky #VigilTrapped

Human Rights!!! #VigilTrapped

Never prayer so hard in my life. #VigilTrapped

We took a break to celebrate someone’s birthday. #BeenandGone #WorstBirthdayEver #VigilTrapped

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