Adults outnumber kids in children’s liturgy by ten to one

A child learning the faithNew research by the Institute for Ecclesial Statistics has shown the average age of attendees in children’s liturgy across the United Kingdom is 52 and there are nine adults for each child. In one Basildon group there were no children at all, just four Irish retirees and a dog.

’The reasons remain unclear,’ said Professor Hoffen who conducted the study, ’but we’ve noticed adult attendance is in inverse proportion both with the length of the sermon and the temperature of the church. It seems the adults are keen to spend as long as possible in the hall, the presbytery or even on the cold sacristy floor.’

In one Kent church the leader is known as the Pied Piper because when she leads the children out half of the congregation follow. It is believed there is an underground market for the borrowing of children before Mass in order to avoid the Priest’s twenty-minute homilies. Young parents happily lend their children to near-strangers for the chance of a good sleep during Mass, it is alleged.

In an anonymous North London parish attendees even employ a secret barista to make coffees for the adults during Children’s Liturgy. Though it is not officially acknowledged or sanctioned by the clergy, it runs a tidy profit for the church so it is rumoured the Priest and Deacon turn a blind eye.

When asked why so many adults seem keen to escape, Bishop McIllnerney who is responsible for Family Ministry in England and Wales said ’Given half the chance I’d be there myself?’

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: