A Birmingham Priest finally cracked in Mass and threw the missal at a parishioner, Mavis Brinkworthy’s. The Priestly pitcher was heard swearing under his breath during the ‘I Confess’ and was visibly sweating during the Creed.
‘I could tell something was wrong’ said Betty Moffat, long time parishioner, ‘but I just thought he was having a panic attack about the visit by the Bishop next week. Mavis says everything fast. She’s Irish.’
‘We were all surprised when he shouted, well, words that aren’t part of the official Roman Liturgy’ said the gossiping granny. ‘And then when he lifted that book and hefted it towards Mavis we were all shocked.’
The missal only made it to the communion rail but the target was clear as Fr O’Shaunahennessy was heard to shout ‘Get out of the way of this if you’re so fast, Mavis!’
‘I wished it had of hit her,’ said Betty ‘She’s been irritating me for years. She can finish a Hail Mary in five seconds and she’s done with the Our Father by the time the rest of us are on the Kingdom come bit.
While Fr O’Saunahennessy was being led out by two local Catenians he looked at Betty and said ‘And you’re next!’ it is alleged.
‘I always speak extra slowly to get people to pray things properly. Surely he can’t be referring to that?’